Hurts for real

It's been 2 months since joined Shanghai Beach Honey contest. A lot of people told me that pageants in china are unfair but i didn't let that put me down. i so wanted to believe and did that beach honey would be a great place for me to show all my experience and hard work.

training and practice was so hard and tiring especially for dancing which i am not that good at. but i never let it stop me or quit. i always went with a 100% and gave it my all. At times i didn't even know where the strength came from. it was so hard being away from home for so long and having to train for long hours. and the hardest thing was facing everything on my own.

time really flew from audition to exam to semi final to top 48 to top 32. the whole journey was a long and hard one, walking alone and staying strong. i was filled with hope and postivie vibes because of my preformances along the way. my dance, catwalk and posing were spot on and the committee, make up artisits, hair stylists and also my fellow girls all beleived that i would make it to the end and deserve something better.

the day of the top 32 final, i was bursting with confidence and energy. my first round was a sure win as i knew that i was stronger than my competitor. everyone thought so. but the result went the other way. i lost in one of my strongest rounds which is bikini wear. it was unbelievable! the audience was as shocked as i was when the result came out.

the girls that were expected to be in the top 4 who were very strong, pretty and confident all got the same result as me. we soon caught on to what was really going on. the news slowly started to trickle out of the backstage from the make up artists of a magazine and girls. the world was that no matter how good you preformed or how well you trained, your background and who you are mattered more than anything else.

the unexpected and shocking loss of the two rounds was so devastating and hurtful, i broke into tears like many other girls. in the elegant wear round, i could not compose myself on stage and broke into tears. what made it even harder to stop crying was that my mom was there in the crowd crying with me.

i learnt valuable lessons from his pageant. no matter how hard you work or how fair you think life is, it will always surprise you. i realised that the results were not based on the judges or our preformance or how hard we worked. it was based on the organizer's biased opinions and likings. if they like you, they can make you. no matter how you look, walk, talk and dress.

i understand life is unfair and i know that you cannot win every battle. but i ask all these kind of events to think about the girls who spend so much money, time and effort in trying to be the best that they can. they train and work hard and even stay away from their families. they dont want to be promised a title or a crown. all they ask is that at the end of the day, the decision is fair and justice is served. i would happily congratulate a girl who won who is better than me in ability and there were in this pageant. We cant feel happy for the winners and ourseives cause the decision was not fair.

lesson for everyone is that if you wanna reach somwhere then you have to be a good ass kisser, have somehting that people want from you and depend on others ability to make you win.

i will never be one of them because in this big bad world, there is a place that is fair, just and honest for me.

Gely is the one who we all thought will be in Top 4 but realistc made us all down. Don't cry baby, we know who we are!

If this contest was fair, we will walk till the last...

We were at Top 48 final night and we made to top 32 firstly than other girls